Go Tell Lauren

12/10/15

(pic credz)

There is a girl in Pennsylvania named Lauren who shines so bright. She shines brighter and brighter but I think there are days when her light feels small. When she doesn’t feel like she is shining. When she doesn’t think that the light is worth following. There is a girl in Pennsylvania named Lauren who shines so bright and I want her to know that she illuminates my soul form miles away.

Lauren, you are allowed to feel small and insignificant. You are allowed to think you aren’t worth it on some days. You are allowed to feel all the bad feelings, but you mustn’t make your home in them. Make sure that you only built a temporary home there, one built out of straw or sticks, so that when the time comes you can blow them down with a huff-and-a-puff.

People will tell you things that build you up but they will also tell you things that hurt. People are the worst and best things to happen to you. Make sure that you guard yourself, but don’t forget to live, Lauren. Live big and live bold. Take chances on people you wouldn’t normally take a chance on, but also know when a situation is out of your control.

It can be hard to let people out of our orbit. Especially when we’ve fashioned them into some sort of sun. But it is something that must happen. There comes a time when we get used to the toxicity of certain people and we start to accept the lies that they are all we are worth.

Lauren, you cannot make homes out of people.

My grandmother taught me that when I was young and I didn’t really understand what it meant until I fell in love with a boy that had the warmest eyes and the coldest heart. But he masked it, he tricked me into falling in love with how he made me feel and the rush I got from being made important in his eyes. The truth came out eventually but I was in too deep. I was too attached, clinging to the thread of him he left dangling in front of me to trail me along.

Lauren, you cannot make homes out of people and you can’t invite another soul to move into your rib-cage. That space is all yours babygirl, don’t let another human take advantage of the home you’re building inside of yourself. The home that is your safe haven, the home that enables you to love every corner of yourself. You can’t make homes out of people and you can’t let them make a home out of you. You will lose yourself and I don’t want that to happen, not when you are such a beautiful and special young lady.

You are a whole person and no human can ever fill any empty space within you.

We are not some puzzle that is missing a piece. You are whole. You are here. You are seen. Did you get that, Lauren? You are here and you are seen. Every stubborn molecule in your body is present and fantastic and human and seen.

Lauren, I want to thank you. For being my fan. For cheering for me. No, seriously, thank you for being my cheerleader. These past months have been hard but God has been good and people like you have given me hope. People like you have kept me from hitting delete on my blog and have inspired me to keep showing up, to keep writing: even when I don’t want to… especially when I don’t want to.

Keep showing up for people, Lauren, especially when you don’t want to. Keep showing up and keep being a light into the bitter darkness that surrounds us. People need you. The world needs you, m’dear.

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