I think there comes a time when we believe that we are anything but. Anything but here. Anything but seen and heard. Anything but loved. Wanted. Treasured. There are times when you can’t pick yourself up off the ground and there is no one around to help you up. That blame doesn’t fall on anyone. Sometimes, circumstances are stacked against you and sometimes they aren’t. No one can control how the cards are dealt.
When those times come, find your favorite blanket, make some hot chocolate and watch You’ve Got Mail. Believe in the times when circumstances can make two enemies fall in love as strangers. Wait for the moment when things start to look bright again. It storms occasionally, but the sun always comes out again, doesn’t it?
I think there comes a time when you long for them. Yearning and Groaning. There are times when it seems like you can never find a way to sit comfortably in “I”– your whole being fills up with Missing the pronouns of “we” and “us” and “they”. Plural always sounds better when we are singular.
When those times approach find comfort in the round hills of “m” and the slow loop of “e”, find comfort and strength in the single “I”.You were always whole. You will always be whole; when we are with someone we are only finding another wholeness that compliments ours. Don’t think you aren’t whole. Don’t think you can’t miss them either. You can. I promise.
I think there comes a time when we second guess ourselves. Our worth. Our connection with others. We think we aren’t wanted… or are annoying… or don’t measure up. There are times when we place ourselves on the scale of “ships” and think we aren’t enough sometimes.
When those times whip around, I say look in the mirror and team up with the person looking back at you– just as frightened at what tomorrow might bring. But know that that person will never let you down and will always be there for you. When those times come around, know your friends or family or your partner sometimes just need alone time. Sometimes they need to foster their other “Ships” and I take that as a sign that I need to as well. Take it as a sign to relax. To take a well-deserved nap. To get that run in. To plan out that dream of yours.
I think there comes a time when we expect too much or too little of ourselves. We push ourselves to the limit and then chastise ourselves when we break down. Or we don’t push ourselves enough and don’t do the things we should have or wanted to. We mentally punish ourselves for that too. At least, I do. I thnk that we, the human race, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We bash ourselves and each other like it’s in our job description.
When those times arrive, I think you should smile. More. Paint it on your face even if it’s fake at first because practice makes perfect and soon it will be real. When those times show up at your door with expectations and plans, sometimes you need to slam the door in their face. Lock the deadbolt behind you. And go do something else on your list. Sometimes. Just sometimes, you need to make yourself a glass of sweet tea and sit outside. Soak in the beauty of nature, the peace of it, and breathe.
You were made for rain trickling on your skin and sunshine frolicking through your hair. Don’t let this world tell you, at any point in your life, that you aren’t meant for tremendous things. You are.
So go outside. Soak in the sun. Drink some hot chocolate. Smile. Take on the world, m’dear. I am cheering for you and I believe in you.